Hair Hair Hair Hair Hair Hair

Yep that just for you! 
I know how much my hair is considered my "mane" attraction since I was little.  I remember how orange it was and how uncomfortable being the Howdy Dowdy of the kids.  It did help having brother also being a redhead and with such an Irish name it suited me.  I guess I knew that I was special being redhead but didn't really like the attention.  I hid behind a wall, which became my big girl body.  Who wants to look at a big girl redhead?  I never liked to show off or being the spotlight. Although..... I did love being in dancing school and performing for dance recitals.  I guess my love of dancing helped overcome my shyness.
I did come out of my shell and was voted in high school as "Most Spirited".  That was because I was loud and shouting at games, but that was to keep up with my cheerleader friends.  There were not many redheads at New Bedford High School.  People would get me and Sue T. mixed up all the time.  Well we both were on swim team but she was skinnier than me. 
I had really long hair, then cut it to a Dorothy Hamil cut around 1976 and then let it grow out again.  It was shoulder length in high school and then the summer I graduated, I cut it short again.  That was the summer I met first husband Todd.  He only knew me with short hair and he preferred it short.  We even owned a "FLO Bee" that we would attach to our vacuum cleaner to cut our hair.  I once used it without the spacers and my hair was almost buzzed cut.  It was shorter than Todd's!
But once he left... I began growing it again.  It was so long and healthy right before my Gastric Bypass.  I lost so much of my hair and it was the one quality about myself that I really liked.  So for the last two years I've been trying to eat more protein and get healthier hair again.  I think its getting better. Someone recently told me how good it looks!!  Now you just need to see it in person. 

Flowers

My favorite flower is Freesia.  It has a beautiful fragrance and it is very delicate looking.

My favorite flower

Of course if you know me...you already know my favorite color of freesia! OK so if you don't know me its purple. I love any kind of flowers except there is one that reminds me of funerals or church.  It is a big ball and think it is a form of Chrysanthemum.  I do like the name "Chris and Mum" which remind me of Mom... but the flower just makes me think I am either in church or at a funeral. 

My other favorite flower is daffodils.  Only because of the timing of them.  It seems just like when the horrible month of March is about over and all the winter blahs are through...you get to see life spring up out of the ground again in a "hosts of golden daffodils" - Poet: Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I really do love flowers and they do brighten up a room and make someones day just a little better.  I like to look at them and be reminded of the sweet person who took time out of their day to send/buy me flowers.  I know they die..but for the thoughts and the beauty...they are worth it.

Swimming

I am in need of a vacation somewhere close to the water.  I live 4 hours away from the ocean.  I was raised in Massachusetts in city that was right on the water and is known for our fishing fleet.  When there was low tide, you could smell it.  And believe it or not...I miss that stinky low tide smell.  I really miss the sound of the ocean crashing against the sand on the beach.  When the waves crash it also releases this intoxicating smell of salt water that I miss that smell too. 
My fondest summer memories are of going to the beach with my whole family (9 of us) and just playing in the water.  Mom had her own lifeguard orange whistle just for us!  But being the baby, I had my older siblings watching out for me too.  My whole family are big swimmers. My brother Donald was lifeguard, which for a pale puke redhead is a challenge!  Then my oldest sister Maureen was the first female lifeguard in our city back in 1978.  She also would swim the 500m on swim team.  That is 20 laps in pool.  Maureen had a "pretty" way of swimming where her feet would hardly splash. 
I prefer swimming in pools since you don't have to worry about what creatures might pinch your toe-bees on the ocean floor.  I somehow ended up with sand up my butt too!  Plus salt water leaves your skin dry and flaky unless you go to shower off as soon as you come out.  We had showers at our local beach.  Mom would bring her own soap & shampoo for us.  Along with baby powder that helps take the sand off. 
Salt water is very good for skin irritation and bug bites....but chlorine is good for that too. 
The perfect vacation would be down at the beach but also has a pool.  That way after the sun goes down you can still be in the pool on those hot steamy nights.  Nothing like a moonlight swim.

Addicted

You see someone addicted to Meth, alcohol or even cigarettes and wonder ... why can't they just put it down and walk away to a healthier lifestyle.  Well I guess the same is about relationships.  Smart people stay in bad relationships because that is the only relationship they know of.  They have never been treated the right way or felt the love of a true love relationship so they accept their circumstances and stay.  It also takes a strong person to walk away.  That strength is not always easy to come by. But they always say that someone who has an addiction also reaches a low point and that is when they seek help to change their circumstances.  Yes sometimes that low point is sitting in a jail cell waiting trial, or maybe it is being diagnosed with lung cancer so the cigarettes just don't seem important anymore.  But when it comes to a long term relationship; what is the low point when the person decides when they have put up with enough crap or violence to now seek a happy life?
Getting your life in order is a hard task to accomplish alone. And as bad as that relationship is, there is a sense of stability from that person always being there even in the worst of times. They also may have the extra income needed to sustain the bills and without their paycheck, credit scores might be ruined and the lifestyle they are accustomed to is gone.  I don't want to think of that person as a victim- but more of someone who doesn't know better...and lives with the person that they are dependant upon someone who treats them like shit. 
I was just looking at article about Nigella Lawson and how her husband attacked her in middle of restaurant.  She is a beautiful, smart woman.  How could she let a man treat her like that?  That is probably all she knows and or she is more looking at his fat wallet and never complained because the bills were paid.
I pray to strength and faith and mostly love.  Because with love...ALL things are possible.  

Preparation

Preparation is the key. Unless its Preparation H then it's a pain in the ass!!

Sometimes I have to prepare myself for the future.  I have to get prepared to face a certain situation or event that I know my normal happy self is not going to enjoy.   I try to envision it and pretend it is not that bad.  I know I can make it through, a little stronger and more confident.  
This new job is preparing me for a certain busy future.  I know it is not making me happy at the moment.  Its bad and hopefully once I know the job, it will get better.  Damn its only day two!  But there is a feeling that if I prepare now with learning this job as best as I can and keep learning...that I will have a brighter future. And who knows... I maybe surprised and might just become my happy self at some point. 
SOMEDAY!!

Birthday blues

Talk about feeling sad on such a WONDERFUL day!!  I posted last week how cards mean so much to me.  A phone call from family or text messages means just as much too. But why would he forget? Is he that insensitive to my feelings?  Is it all about him?  Why couldnt he go get me a $3.00 birthday card that wishes me a Happy Birthday and how much he cares about me?  I don't know... lost right now.  Hurting and yes I should go talk to him but dont want to "cause problems" so again I keep the hurt inside and still smile on the outside.  It keeps building up that one day I am going to blow...and its not going to be pretty.
Please God watch over and protect me... keep me safe and give me peace.

Bruins!!

"Everyone knows a penguin doesn't have a chance against a Bruin"- MB!!

I love that saying!!
I guess my favorite national hockey team is Boston only because I did meet Patrice Bergeron while I worked at Reebok.  He still had a thick French accent and he was so sweet.  I have been to one New England Patriots game when Steve Grogan was quarterback and I was in marching band circa 1983.  I did go to one Red Sox game but was on a blind date so I was more nervous than having fun watching the game.  Guy was Sean Michael Patrick Kelly and it was only one date. LOL Damn Irishman!!! I did go to 2 New England Revolution games. Once with my Spanish friends and it was a blast.  I saw that there was a special deal for ticket, pizza and drink with really good seats. So I had invited Rick to go on our first date.  He had never been to a soccer game and we had fun.  The guys sitting in front of us made us laugh which cut the tension of first date jitters.  "Get up off your knees ref- you're blowing the game".  
                                                                        
I still love to watch soccer especially if #11 is on the field playing defense. Go Black! I hope to watch them play again... maybe in September? 

Birthday basics

Yes I do love Hallmark cards and sometimes the best gift is the card and not the actual gift.  Although I do love the anticipation of opening the gift and wondering what is inside.  But sometime the best gift has nothing to do with an actual item but more like a sweet notion that conveys how much that person means to me.  Best birthday was last year at Myrtle Beach.

I can't believe I will be 47!!! Lucky number!  I sometimes feel like I am younger due to different situations or people I am with.  I believe its just a number anyway.  You are only as old as you feel and I feel 19 sometimes!


I have a feeling it will be another lucky year for me.  I get to start a wicked good job next Monday, June 10th!! It will be customer service but my customers will be accounts and not just cranky people calling in complaining about their broken Samsung stuff.  I did not like the job but I still went to it everyday.  Yes I played hookey a couple of times- but it was worth it.

I prefer marble cake but would probably go into a sugar overload and feel pookie.  I have strawberry shortcake with angel food cake instead.  I don't think I can wait until next Monday so I will have a pre-birthday celebration ahead of time.

Happy 47th to me!!  is it 47 leaning to the right like it was moving so fast? LOL