Random complaints about new job

I got a new job that I started on 8/27/12.  It is working for a company that answers calls for Samsung customers.  I do not work for Samsung. I work for 3rd party agency called alorica.

I have been applying to jobs based upon my past CSR experience and what I would be "good" at.  I know this is a good job with half way decent pay. I know I might have to work every weekend and that once Rick stops working his 7days a week/ 12 hour days that we still won't have time to spend together. Only on my weekdays off when he comes home at night. I spent 10+ years working crappy hours at AT&T but the money was worth it and I loved operator services. 

I am venting - I know I will never get as good of a job as adidas and I screwed that up so it is Karma now.  I have to "pay the piper" for my screw up.  I won't have time to go on more interviews even if I did find another job. Thought came in my head if hiring company would allow SKYPE interview so then I could do an interview during my lunch hour. Otherwise calling out is frowned upon and would get fired.

I am really scared of the AT&T atmosphere where everything is highly monitored again. Yes it is a call center and that is what I know, but honestly I don't want this pressure again.  I can feel it already.  My past panic attacks were scary and since they were work related.  I have it in my head that it might happen again with this job.  I know the past is in the past for a reason. I can't judge my present situation based upon a past incident/job.  This is a good opportunity to move forward with my life and get myself situated again with bills being paid and money to start saving for future again.  I have to keep telling myself the positive because I "feel" the negative.

A great friend of mine said, "You would have to live with the consequence of passing up a sure thing, compared to HOPE for something better"  He is very smahht!  I did not get the 911 dispatch position so it is kinda like fate that I did get this job. I wish I had spent more time this summer looking into school and pharmacy tech or something to do with healthcare.  Rick had said, "I thought you would go back to school to learn something new?"  Well I should have been more diligent about checking out schools and how to apply and how much money it would take.

I know I love people but not miserable, mean, bitchy, complain people.  Yes I would be able to help some of them on the other end of the phone.  For 60 calls a day and go home at night with one positive to 59 negative will that make me feel good about my job?  I doubt it.  I know I am already setting myself up for failure. I have to turn my frown upside down and put my big girl panties on.  I already have it in my head that I don't like this based upon the "call center" enviroment and people calling me to complain.  I am a positive person and the more negative that is pushed on me then I already know I will be miserable.  Then why take job? Because I needed to get back to work and get on with my life. 

Sitting here on the first weekend off (Labor Day 3 day) I am already dreading my future holiday's where I will have to work.  I know call centers are open 356 days a year and I am willing to work Thanksgiving and Christmas but since I will not have six months service, I will only get straight pay instead of time & half. OMG I am bitching and moaning already.  I am not usually like this and here I am miserable, upset, mad, depressed and angry with my work situation.  I have other things I am upset & depressed about....but those are for me to work on later.

My benefit package is and I quote, "limited-benefit health plan".  Which states that Starbridge is a sickness & accident plan that covers everyday medical expenses and is NOT a major medical plan to cover major health problems like heart disease or cancer.  Please pray that I don't get sick working for this company. One of the things I told myself when I went in last Monday was to go & listen to their benefit plan.  It sucks! I need to find something better since I have/had health issues in past.

I just wish I could find another job that I love (hell even LIKE) to get up and go to everyday.  I am not happy riding to work in the mornings and I remember an old boss of mine said, that "the day you dread walking through the front door of your work, is the day you need to start looking elsewhere".  I am going to keep looking elsewhere and hopefully I will find something fulfilling to my soul that can still pay my bills and give me a little play/savings money.