Goodbye

That is the hardest thing for me to say right now. I am still holding on to the grief and I need to let it go. It is suppose to subside in time, but it still hurts so much. I know I am suppose to “get over it” but no two people grieve the same.

My nephew, Tyler J. Trahan, was killed in Iraq last year on April 30th. His birthday was two days later. My sister had to sign his death certificate on what would have been his 23rd birthday. She said she never imagined 23 years earlier that she would be doing that. I cannot fathom her pain.  My niece lost her only sibling and brother.  My brother-in-law lost his only son. 

I wasn’t the Aunt I should have been, but that is in the past. I cannot change the past. I can only live in the moment and right now I have been grieving (again). I am heading to Elgin AFB in Florida for his first anniversary in two weeks. It just so happens to be the National EOD Memorial weekend. He was a member of Explosive Ordinance Disposal family and they have embraced us into their family. I need both my blood relatives and EOD family to help me memorialize a terrific kid. He would come right over after he opened his birthday/Christmas gifts from me to give me a kiss. He was very sweet, loving and caring. My husband and I scuba dive and talked him into going for his scuba certificate.. He ended up going into the Navy and would tell us about all his scuba diving adventures/training. (Well not all of them but what he could share…he did)

It wasn’t suppose to happen this way. Tyler was suppose to defend our country and return home. He did make it home, but that casket was not the vessel he was suppose to come home in. He was a hero to me before he was even killed. The last conversation I had with him was hearing how excited he was and sharing how he had just met the President (Bush). I told him to stay safe and God bless. That is what I have to remember…he is safe now with God. A flash of white light that sent him straight to heaven and he is now a bright shining white star looking down on us. “And until we meet again, May God hold you in the palm of His hand.”