Babies

I would love to have a baby, but it just wasn’t in God’s plan. No doubt we have tried and we just might get pregnant now that I have this weight loss. My fear is being an old lady and getting pregnant. I want to be healthy and strong enough to raise a baby, toddler, pre-teen. There is nothing more in this world that I would want than to hold a baby in my arms and have that unconditional love for them. I know I would be able to love adopted children or babies from an egg donor even without coming from my body. It is all a matter of motherhood. I remember Nancy Griffin got me a little Donald Duck beanie hat when I was pregnant in 1997. Someone else got me a book about what to expect when expecting. I was so happy to have finally gotten pregnant that I told everyone and was so excited. I guess I jumped the gun because I loss the baby 8 weeks later. It was not meant to be and that was a good thing. My boyfriend at the time, was cheating on me and I guess the stress took its toll on my body/baby.


There are several girls here at work that are pregnant or just had a baby. I am very envious of them but am so happy for them too. There are other woman like me, sitting here wondering why them and not me? I guess every month I am reminded that I am not supposed to have children. It hurts.