I feel spoiled sometimes

I have a good life.  All in all I feel blessed in my life.  I hear stories from friends about the crazy life or hell they are going through and I have to stop and thank God it is not me.  I know He gives us trials and tribulations to get through only to make us stronger.  I guess He knows that I probably wouldn't be able to handle a serious crisis or problem. My instinct is always to flee from conflict or crisis.  I don't have the strength to stand up and fight.  I am sure if my back was pushed into a wall, I would fight.  After typing that sentence the first thought I had was, "what if I am not a big girl anymore..who could physically push me into a wall."  THERAPY...I NEED THERAPY!!
I just remember douche-bag boyfriend abuse and how I was so scared of him that I just lay there like a fool.  If I could change the past the first thing I would do is kick that bastard in the balls and smack him over the head with a baseball bat.  No really!!  I know I don't seem to be that agressive but when your mind plays the abuse over and over again...you build up this fantasy evil world of revenge. 
I thank him though for putting me here in the future where I belong.  A man came along who showed me how it is to love with a whole heart and soul and I married him. If it wasn't for douche-bag, I wouldn't of met Rick.
To all of you going through some difficult times right now, my only advice is that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and although you are in the darkess blackness you have ever been in.....God will show you the light.  Just keep looking for it...